Alright, so maybe I am being just a little dramatic. I seriously hope I wouldn't qualify for that terrifying show where people are hoarding something like 100 cats in a studio apartment. Well, I wouldn't qualify yet at least. It does sound really silly, but I feel like I am saving everything for a "rainy day." Funny, it rains almost every day. And yet, I still don't use so many things I've brought, I've bought or I've been sent! I have clothes that managed to stay in storage all during training and still look so shiny and new. So, I just say I'm waiting for a day that I really want to look good or for whatever special occasion I think I'll be going to while I'm here. My family and boyfriend have been amazing about sending me all kinds of special goodies, treats, clothes, magazines, books, etc. Yes, I do use some of it, but I also have a gigantic bag of protein bars, drink mixes, instant soups and oatmeal that I just can't bring myself to eat. Only on really terrible days when I'm missing the states do I bust out something that tastes like home. Otherwise, whenever I think about how good a Luna bar would be, I always think: Who knows the next time I'll get a package! And yet, I just picked up six last week. Yes, other volunteers are jealous and sometimes I feel a little guilty about being taken care of so well. Even guiltier that I don't use so much of it! I also hoard, although I guess a better would would be conserve, water like you wouldn't believe. Fetching water isn't exactly my favorite chore in the whole world, although you should what kind of amazing muscles I've developing. Not really, but hey I do feel a lot stronger than before. But, fetching water is always such a process, especially if it's really hot or if there's tons of other people waiting for their jerry cans to be filled up too. So, I use minimal water to bathe. Only on special days do I treat myself to maybe eight liters instead of my usual four. I reuse dishwater, laundry water mops my floors, and whenever I hear just a sprinkling of rain of my tin roof, I run out to position my basins just right so I can collect as much rain water as possible. As for cooking, basically all the volunteers use a gas cooker, which is connected to a gas tank. Apparently the gas tank would typically last a volunteer one year before they have to refill it, if they using it wisely. Well, just how wise do you have to be?! While I do cook for myself of course, I always try to avoid using too much gas. Until I found a pressure cooker, I was going to give up trying to cook dry beans because it took over an hour to get them soft enough to chew! And finally, the last thing I feel like I "hoard" is the charge on all my electronics, except my phone. Because I don't have power, I can only charge my laptop and iPod at a cafe when I make my weekly trip to Mbale where I stock up on all the wonderful things the supermarkets here have to offer. Obviously, carrying a laptop can only complicate my trips because then I can't carry as much home. So, I basically don't use any of my electronics anymore. Again, only when I've had a terrible day, and I need some immediate comfort do I even think about firing up my lap top to watch an episode of TV.
I don't know why I'm telling you all of this. It probably makes me sound absolutely insane, even more so than usual. The funny thing is I didn't even realize this ridiculous behavioral pattern until this week. Honestly, I think I'm saving a number of these things because I'm still waiting for the real volunteer life to begin. Honey, this is it. I am a Peace Corps Volunteer. Have been for over six weeks now. I need to stop thinking I should save this for when I really need it. If it's going to make me more comfortable, I need to just use it!
As for conserving water, I really just need to see it as a mini strength training exercise. And the gas and power, I'll figure it out eventually. It's not like I can't refill a gas tank or recharge batteries.
Now, the real question is: Will the behavior actually change? Stay tuned.
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