The Joy of Eating, Laundry and Google

Despite my last post, of course not everything in America was confusing and awkward.  Here’s a short list of what I loved in America, besides my family, friends and Nathan.

1.     Free refills.  You don’t think about it too often, I’m sure, but free refills are awesome!  And you should take full advantage when you can.  At most restaurants, I was drinking at least six Diet Cokes, to my mom’s dismay.  One restaurant was slow at bringing my drinks, so I requested two glasses at a time.  Obviously, Uganda sells their soda in bottles.  If you feel the urge for another one, you have to pay for it!  Unfortunately, I think I was constantly overdosed on caffeine.

2.     Grocery stores- with a car.  Kampala has some pretty big grocery stores, so the sheer size of our grocery stores didn’t overwhelm me.  What did- I actually wanted everything in the store.  And, I wasn’t limited!  I could buy a whole grocery cart and put it in the car to take home.  Holy cow.  When I realized that, I couldn’t make any decisions.  When I got used to it though, I was so happy to go to the grocery store.  And you have a refrigerator so your food doesn’t go bad in two days!

3.     Food!  Greek yogurt, frozen yogurt, ice cream, cinnamon rolls, bacon, steak, bread, sandwiches, salads, broccoli, soup, strawberries, blackberries, pie, In-N-Out, Chipotle, chips, salsa, pancakes, whipped cream, Starbucks, garlic bread, crème brulee… ah such good food!  But by the end of the three weeks, I felt like I had eaten too much.  I was ready for a break!  (The first question PCVs asked me when I came home- what did you eat?!  Then they hate me for listing all the amazing food I ate).

4.     Running.  No one bothered me.  No one was following me.  No one was yelling at me.  I didn’t have to worry about getting hit by a motorcycle, car or cow.  I think I looked paranoid because I kept looking behind me, expecting to see little kids trailing behind me.  It was actually a little boring because I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to be doing if I wasn’t waving at everyone, looking for oncoming disasters and dodging goats.  My runs became peaceful and unrestrained by the sunset- it’s pretty safe to run at night!

5.     The washing machine.  I washed my clothes at least every other day.  I honestly can’t believe that I used to dread doing laundry.  It involves almost no effort.  I was so happy to have clean, warm clothes out of the dryer.  On that same note: a dishwasher.  Sometimes I just reuse dishes in Uganda to avoid doing dishes…  Currently, I have a whole basin full of used dishes!

6.     Water.  Showering.  Washing vegetables under running water, instead of soaking them in a bowl.  Drinking water from the tap. Never worrying about fetching water, how much water I have in my house, being able to get clean water, etc.  However, I did get anxious one night when it was raining, and I had no basins to put out.

7.     Credit cards.  Although I think I want to use cash more often than I did pre-Post Corps, it was great to charge something!  You never had to worry about how much cash you had on you.  I had a hard time using cash anyway.  All the bills are green!  How do you tell them apart in your wallet?

8.     Netflix.  Streaming TV shows is awesome!

9.     Fast internet.  Not just fast internet.  Not having to plug in a modem, wait for it set up, then log on.  Internet is just up and running once your computer is.  So fast that I could use my normal gmail account without worrying about running over my internet time (some of you might not even know that you can load gmail on a basic html!)

10. Cars.  I never actually drove when I was home.  Newport streets are either really narrow or four lanes wide!  I was too scared to drive my mom’s big SUV, my brother’s pick up truck and I can’t even drive Nathan’s manual car.  Thanks for everyone chauffeuring me around!  It was nice knowing that when you got in the car, it was going where you wanted it to go.  You could leave things in it!

11. The radio.  When you listen to the radio in Uganda, and an American song comes on, you have to get into it!  It’s YOUR jam, even if it’s Vanessa Williams.  In America, I was excited about all the music!

12. Being invisible.  Not actually, of course.  But it’s so rude to stare at anyone in America; whereas in Uganda, people easily can stare at me for five straight minutes.  Even when I was dancing in the grocery store, I didn’t get a single look!

13. Dogs.  As my mom says, I’m not the biggest dog person in the world.  Barking tends to drive me crazy.  But, I had really missed all the dogs in my life.  Shout out to Kosmo, Henri, Riley and Shasta.  It was so nice to snuggle up with them, especially because they kept me warm.

14. Carpet.  Yes, this partially has to do with my cold feet, but carpet is just nice on your feet in the morning.  Basically all Ugandan houses have a cement floor.  Unless you’re meticulous and clean the floor often- like Ugandans do- you wake up in the morning feeling grit and dirt under your feet.

15. Well-stocked restaurants.  Not once when I was home did I have to ask, “Are avocados there?”  At most Ugandan restaurants, you’re better off asking them what’s on the menu today.

16. Facials!  Yup, I got a facial when I was home.  It felt so good to have two years worth of dirt scrubbed off my face.  Looking forward to one more when I get home.

17. Google it!  Whenever people have a question about something, they just google it on their iPhones right away.  When PCVs are talking, they try to make a list of things they want to look up when they are near internet again.  And it’s the most frustrating feeling when you’re sitting in front of the computer, and you know there is something else you wanted to know.

18. Good drinks- with safe ice.  I had a fun microbrew, a mojito, a margarita, champagne, wine… well now I sound like I have a problem!  But it was really nice to some choices.  No Nile Specials (one of Uganda’s top beers)!

19. Contacts.  So nice to wear contacts again!  I am really tired of glasses.  Can’t wait to be back full time to contacts.

20. People who listened to me even if my stories were weird, crazy and didn’t make any sense.  I am so grateful for my family, friends and boyfriend that have been supportive of my service and my crazy adventure home.  Watch out guys!  I’m coming home sooooo soon!  Love you all.

Well, I feel like my list could go on and on.  As you can tell, I have missed home a lot.  I have a lot to look forward to when I come home too.  Here are some things I didn’t have a chance to do then, but I can’t wait to do when I come home for good!

1.     Hanging out on my mom’s couch

2.     Going to the dog beach with Nathan

3.     Meeting Grant’s new dog (we chose the name Cami)

4.     Seeing John-Paul’s new glass shop

5.     Going shopping with Bridgette

6.     Watching more Shark Tank

7.     Brownie ice cream sundae

8.     Going to Basil Leaf Café with my mom

9.     Hiking with my dad

10. Going to the gym- especially a gym class!

11. Pedicure

12. Sushi

13. Driving

14. Home made tacos

Here are some things that learned about America, but still don’t really understand.

1.     Instagram

2.     Pinterest

3.     “Checking in” on Facebook

4.     Gangnam style dancing- we did finally do this at our COS conference, but only Audrey knew it very well.  The rest of us just pranced around.

5.     My favorite restaurant in Newport no longer has mud pie- C’mon guys!

Raising Eyebrows in America

I always said, “I will never go home at any point during my service.  Well, unless someone is dying or something.  But otherwise, nope, I’ll never go home!”

Never say never.  I surprised myself and everyone at home when I decided to go home for Christmas.  Most of my Peace Corps friends were leaving Uganda for Christmas- Zanzibar, South Africa, England, Paris, etc.  I missed everyone at home.  I had the vacation days.  So, I booked a three-week trip back to California.

As I traveled back, I had a layover in London.  The perfect layover treat: Starbucks.  The line was at least 20 people long, but totally worth it.  I only got a hot cocoa so I could still sleep on my next flight.  Waiting at the end of line for my drink, the barista asked me, “Whipped cream?”  I responded yes.  “MISS, DO YOU WANT WHIPPED CREAM?!”  “Oh my god, yes please!” 

What the hell had happened?  I was stunned as I walked away.  Why did she yell at me?  It hit me about a minute later: I had only raised my eyebrows!  Many Ugandans express “yes” by raising their eyebrows, and maybe saying “mmmm.”  It was the first clue that coming home wouldn’t be so easy.

My first night home was my mom’s birthday.  Due to my 24 hours of traveling, we did an easy celebration of pizza at home with my brothers and Nathan.  As I savored my first piece of American pizza, I was completely overwhelmed by the rest of the table.  Everyone was talking so fast and so loud.  I also didn’t really understand what people were talking about.  I was definitely out of the pop reference loop, the football playoff lineups, the family gossip.  Everything.  I was forced to vote on Grant’s new puppy’s name.  Zoe, Sophie or Cami?!  Backup, when did Grant decide to get a puppy?!

My dad called Grant the next day.  “How’s Chelsea doing?”  Grant’s first response: “She talks so slow.”

Needless to say, social interactions were really difficult at home.  The best description of myself: painfully awkward.  I talked slow and used weird phrases, like constantly saying “Sure?” as a response.  All of my stories were about Peace Corps- as foreign to other people as the Gangnam style dance was to me.  I kept forgetting that everyone around me could understand me perfectly.  “Oh god, do you see how that girl is dressed?!”  SHHHHHHH…  Whenever I talked to someone, I never knew what to expect.  In Uganda, social situations are practically scripted.  It’s almost comforting because for the first few minutes, you know exactly how your conversation will go.  In America, people were all over the place.  I couldn’t figure out how I usually addressed someone.  In Uganda, you always have to say Sir or Madam.  When I asked an employee at the grocery store where I could find hot cocoa, I lingered wondering how to even start my question.

I was absolutely freezing the entire time I was home… in California.  During the day, it was mid 50s or 60s, and at night, it was in the 40s.  I know it makes me sound like a total baby, but my toes were numb at least 50% of the time.  I was wrapped in a blanket whenever it was somewhat appropriate.  I treasured the new Uggs my mom bought me- it was the only time my feet defrosted.  My body is completely adjusted to Uganda’s heat, humidity and sunshine.

In Uganda, the sun rises and sets at 7 pm, exactly.  Many PCVs talk about how much they miss seasons in America, but I think they forget how depressing winter sun really is.  I felt it immediately.  Why is the sun setting at 4:30 PM?!  The first week, I was falling asleep at 8 PM, about four hours after the sunset.  In Uganda, that would almost be 11 PM!  And I would want to sleep until 10 AM, although that’s pretty normal for me.  My body just couldn’t accept that there was limited sunshine.  I couldn’t get into the habit of planning for darkness that descended around 5 PM.  I finally realized that it was safe enough to run at night, so that helped me schedule.

SCHEDULING!  God, Americans like to have a plan.  Uganda has conditioned me to roll with the flow.  It’s completely acceptable to show up two hours late or to never show up at all.  Plans don’t need to made more than a few hours in advance anyway.  I always told myself that PCVs still follow American expectations when making plans with each other.  Well, we used to.  I was stressed by everyone asking me when we could hang out, see this movie, go out to dinner, etc. 

It was exacerbated by texting.  I would get texts, read them, then go back to whatever I was doing.  By the end of the first week, I thought my mom was going to strangle me.  “Why aren’t you responding me?!”  Oh, well, I was going to respond.  Texting in Uganda isn’t free- you are charged per text.  So, you usually don’t text back unless you have an answer.  Plus, I wasn’t as good texting on an iPhone as I was with T9 on my old Nokia.  Also, I was completely confused by this whole group texting.  The whole group could read my texts?!  Awesome.

Even as I’ve written this blog, I keep hearing a phrase I repeated constantly at home.  “Well, in Uganda…”  Someone finally pointed out that I was no longer in Uganda.  I became pretty frustrated with myself.  What is wrong with me?!  I am American, but I felt so uncomfortable, unnatural and just weird in my own freaking country.  Why was this so hard?

By the end of the three weeks, I did finally find my groove.  Nathan even said I got my fast talking back!  At my last dinner, John-Paul asked me if I was worried about going back to Uganda.  “Sure, I’m worried I’ll get hit by a car.”  (Not only to Ugandans drive on the side of the street, but they don’t believe that pedestrians have the right of way.  In fact, the entire system is upside down.  The rule of thumb- if something bigger than you is headed your way, better get the hell out the way!)

I know I didn’t really answer John-Paul’s real question.  He wanted to know if it was going to be hard for me to go back.  I kind of wanted to avoid it- for their sakes, not mine.  Yes, I was going to miss everyone, miss my greek yogurt, a working refrigerator and hot showers, but I wasn’t worried about coming back.  Maybe because I knew the end of my service was in sight, I could be really positive about coming back.  In fact, I was looking forward to the Ugandan sunshine, to catch up on Peace Corps gossip, to finishing up my projects, etc.

Physically, coming back wasn’t easy.  I missed my flight in London, had to sleep in the British Airways lounge in Dubai, arrived a day late and my bags got lost; however, when I reported my lost luggage, I was immediately comforted by the slow, predictable conversation.

Blog Fail

Yes, I’m aware that I haven’t kept up with my blog.  I’m not really sure what happened!  I got so busy with finishing up my RUMPS project and planning for GLOW, I didn’t really have much time.  Plus, I spend copious amounts of time on my computer for GLOW, so I started to develop a love-hate relationship with my computer anyway.

But, I think it just came down to this: I didn’t really have anything more to share.  I have been living in Uganda for almost two years.  Nothing seems to phase me anymore.  Nothing really seems newsworthy.  Now, it’s just been life.  Although there are a few volunteers that rock at updating their blogs, I think a lot of us fall into this blog slump.  The crazy things, the interesting conversations, the culturally shocking moments- it becomes completely normal.

The only exception in the last three weeks:

In the evenings in Mbale, there are rows of jackfruit tables set up along the main street.  The vendors are cutting jackfruit, peeling the fruit from the rind, cleaning the pieces of sap and sticky gum.  Jackfruit has the most unique, pungent smell, and I can smell the stands from a few blocks away. 

As Audrey and I shopped the stands, taste tasting here and there, we pushed through the crowed streets.  A man stood in our way, wearing a backpack backwards, with the pouch resting on his stomach.  “You want to buy?”  He reached into his backpack slowly, shielding his precious commodity.  His hands gripped a ball of needles.  Audrey and I both were very confused. 

“What is that?”  Audrey asked.

“Oh my GOD!  Is that a hedgehog?!” I was practically screaming at him.  The crowd standing on the street watching the football game through a window turned their attention to stare at us.

“WHAT?!  THAT IS A HEDGEHOG?!”

“White people don’t want hedgehogs!!  Where did you get that?!”

“From the forest.  You buy?”

“NO!  We don’t want.  Take it back to the forest!  It must be hungry.”

“No no.  Eats everything.  Greens, fruit, food.  You feed it.  You buy?”

“NO!  Oh my god!  We don’t want it!”

“You don’t want?  Ok.”  He replaced the hedgehog into the front pocket of his backpack and disappeared into the busy streets.  The crowd turned back to their football.  The jackfruit men were still yelling, “Taste!  You buy!!!”  To everyone else, it was a completely normal situation.- one that still managed to shock Audrey and I!

With only eight weeks left in my service, I want to revitalize my blog.  I realized that I have a few more stories left in me.  So forgive my abandonment, and read on.