Back by popular demand, I've compiled some of the more ridiculous text messages we've sent to each other recently. Enjoy!
its not a good sign when my younger brother, upon hearing how much money i make, says sheesh you broke as a joke
the kids were being brats and throwing trash under my door. so i said no coloring today. one said "no, just beat me." haha
lmao! who is afraid of butterflies? you are fantastic
my house has been infested by giant moths. this is unreasonable.
so just how toxic is bat sh@#?
hey y'all. just FYI, due to the lack of power for the foreseeable future, my phone will only be on for a few hours each morning.
somehow he found a guy who sold him 30 eggs for 8500. too bad i set them on a box and the box fell breaking 22 of them. so i paid 1000 per egg. opps! (1000 /= is about 40 cents)
maybe it would change your life. i think if i finally got cushions it would change my life...
i dreamed a mouse was attacking me
sweet relief! power's back after only 2 weeks off instead of the 6 months they were threatening as punishment for those who were stealing
oh my god, woke up to a thousand white ants in my house. not exaggerating
apparently im pretty pathetic here. people were giving my neighbor shit for being a bachelor (40 & never married) "he sits and converses with himself" and he responded "i get more visitors than ryan" ouch
sick, a little chunk of poop in my hair. must have run over a cow pie
someone just shouted the vehicle is pregnant! we go!
i am in a taxi going so so fast im terrified we wont make it! its out of control. i wish i had one last waffle
why does garlic powder make my gas so potent?
people are going to be disgusted with us in america!!! we are going to be animals
i want blueberry pancakes. really, i have a problem. it's like constant PMS cravings in this country.
i think most people back home must think i am a two ton tess by the way i talk about food
there's a rainbow circling the sun right now... i was hurting my eyes but i couldn't stop looking
i think i have your farts right now. we have problems
i feel like my mom is going to be horrified
i got so excited cuz i heard thunder... i think it skipped me :( power is out, so i feel the universe should throw me a bone and make it rain
of course it would rain on a pool day! what a bust!
making a penis stencil to accompany the uterus! the kids are curious about what i'm doing to say the least
ya, i regret not eating more
i think all that eating wiped me out!!! but i really would like some of those chinese noodles right now. i have problems...
i'm writing a blog post. i wrote about pooping in my hand. i'm forever sealing my fate of being single.
seriously just saw a horse and a camel on the side of the road
i just got all your texts from yesterday. my phone was being weird since i got home. i got none of my texts- thought everyone was ignoring me!!
woooo i'm moving up in the world: my house now has 2 light bulbs
and it's ok, you don't have to wait. i wouldn't either. i am so excited for this sandwich- it's almost a little pathetic
i feel like i eat an obscene amount of salt here. i blame the heat.
maybe we are all dying!!! at least we got some good meals before we kick the bucket.
No comments:
Post a Comment