Bare with Me

I spend a lot of time, probably too much, focusing on what strong American women have to teach Ugandans.  Let me turn the tables.

Something went dreadfully wrong between my mother’s generation and mine.  After P.E. in high school, it was mandatory for my mom and her friends to jump in the shower for a few minutes to rinse off before going to their next class.  I think I can say will full confidence that I was never completely naked in my high school locker room.  We had nifty tricks of changing to guarantee our bodies safe from… well, yes, what exactly were we afraid of?  It was a girl’s locker room!

Somewhere in the last fifty years, Americans have reverted back to our prudish, Puritan beliefs regarding our bodies and nakedness, which is completely ridiculous considering what you see when we flip on the TV, open a magazine or log onto the internet.  So, I propose a completely different theory.  Over the last fifty years, the overly demanding and critical diet scene has forced all of us to be ashamed of our bodies.  We have been trained to look for every flaw in the mirror; therefore we expect others to do the same when given the chance to judge, such as in a locker room. 

The American body image disaster is growing out of proportion.  We are constantly bombarded by diet pills, insane exercise regimes, dangerous cleanses and new surgical techniques- all of them telling us that our bodies aren’t good enough as they are now.  I haven’t been away long enough to forget that there is an obesity epidemic sweeping America right now.  One could argue that these are all trying to help those suffering.  The possible causes of the obesity epidemic are vast, but let me add one more.  Because our society demands perfection in the media, we’ve been forced to accept that a “healthy” acceptable body is never attainable.  If you can’t reach it, why try?  Faced with these unreachable expectations, it’s understandable for someone to turn to comfort- food.

It’s important for all of us to remember that what is represented in the American media is far from healthy, apart maybe from the Dove advertisements.  Americans seem to have forgotten that women are supposed to have natural curves.  A truly healthy woman is not a stick figure with plastic orbs jutting out from our chests.

Biologically speaking, a truly healthy woman has to have some fat in order to support a baby; if not, her body will stop menstruating because it’s a lost cause.  A young girl will not start menstruation until her body is 25% fat.  A woman is supposed to gain weight during pregnancy.  I’m honestly sickened to hear our media congratulate women’s quick “recoveries” from pregnancy weight.  Without gaining enough weight, you’re actually starving your baby.  And it has been proven that the only way to loose baby weight quickly after pregnancy is not dependent on how much weight you gained, but whether you maintained a healthy exercise regime during your pregnancy.

Uganda does not suffer from this insane body image problem.  In fact, if you are too skinny, people tend to think you’re sick, most likely suffering from HIV.  Only when you gain weight, will someone compliment you.  Women here are dream to be curvaceous.  Big breasts, big hips, big butt.  Women don’t worry about sit-ups, burning a certain number of calories or restraining their diet.  They eat meals of mostly carbs, their work out consists of fetching water and digging in the fields and no one would consider turning down a full calorie soda.  The ads plastered in towns read: Want a big bum?

At Camp GLOW East, the American counselors had to face a situation completely new to our generation.  The bathing area was just one narrow room to be shared with all counselors at the same time.  Of course, none of the Ugandan counselors thought it was alarming.  But a number of the Peace Corps volunteers were shocked that they had to be completely naked among other women.  Although it may have been a challenge, everyone bathed.  No one smelled like a sewer by the end of the week!  Many of us may not have acknowledged it at the time, but I think the Americans learned a very important lesson at Camp GLOW: to be comfortable with and accepting of their own bodies.  Nearly all American women need to learn this lesson.

During the week of Camp GLOW, I helped one of my visually impaired campers, Sammy, by carrying her basin of water to the campers’ bathing area, while someone else lead her there.  I know that all the girls laughed at me because I carried it with my arms, slopping water every which way, instead of carrying it on my head.  I’m just not coordinated enough for the head maneuver.  The first time I entered the girls’ bathing area, after loudly announcing myself, I was shocked.  Among young, adolescent girls, there was no air of embarrassment or discomfort.  In fact, as compared to their first day of camp, I speculated they were more comfortable here than during their group reflection time.  One girl was practically dancing while another was loudly singing.  No one seemed to mind my presence.  If anything, the only judgment in that bathing area was directed at me and my water carrying disabilities. 

Many of the girls go to boarding school, and I imagine their bathing time may be the only time they allowed to be silly and disruptive because no one’s supervising them.  Instead of a time of dread, they may actually enjoy their freedom.  In the dorms, there were no swift locker room tricks.  The girls just got dressed will chatting and joking around.  And that’s the way it should be.

In Uganda, you will never that sick banter we’ve come to accept in America.  “Well, I just hate my thighs.  I can’t stand wearing shorts because my thighs are just too big!”  “Ugh, well you’ve got a great, flat stomach.  I’ve done everything possible, but nothing’s helping this flabby part.  See, right here?”  Why do we partake in this negative behavior?  And why are we nervous about the women that don't have anything to add to this body bashing ritual?  The only time I’ve ever heard a Ugandan women complain about her bodies, it has been in reference to my hair because they think it is so much more manageable.  To be fair, if they plait their hair, the process can take anywhere from 6 to 20 hours!

I only hope that women everywhere can say to themselves “I love my body.  It may not be perfect according to the media, but it is perfect for me.  As my goal, I have no weight, size or shape in mind; I only strive to be healthy.”  After the psychological damage that has been inflicted on us for many decades, this change won’t happen over time.  But as women, we have to work together to change attitudes, conversations and habits.  We want our daughters or granddaughters to be confident and proud of their bodies.

Needless to say, I won’t be running around naked just anywhere.  One evening at camp, as I was struggling to carry my basin of water to the bathing areas, I was forced to set it down to readjust myself.  With the wind blowing and my arms shaking, my thin wrap of fabric covering my naked body was threatening to slip off as I was walking in the school compound, in front of both dorms.  A nearby Ugandan counselor shouted, “You should have just kept going!  It’s only ladies here!”