Texts from Uganda

For those of you unfamiliar with the site, there is something called “Texts from Last Night,” which post wildly inappropriate texts that people actually sent. Most PCVs in my region pay 1000UGX per week (about 40 cents) for unlimited texting. I would like to give you a taste of what kinds of texts we send to each other in Uganda:




ok i know this sounds totally crazy but i was trying to fall asleep and i heard a rat under my bed. then i thought maybe it was trying to get into my bed. so i violently kicked the bed and swiped under it with a broom. im back in bed, the rats still there and im worried it will seek revenge...


im almost done watching all ten seasons with friends... what am i going to do with my life?!?


yes! i might dance in the rain when it arrives


it's a chicken. i'm trying to keep it in perspective. but i can't kill it myself! maybe i'll give it to my watchman and his family


i'm doing leggos with the kids. it's...interesting


i'm going to the pool today and monday. i think if everyone followed my lead there would be world peace and my job would be done


oh and emptied my night bucket for the first time in two days. the smell gave me an instant head ache. oops. (a night bucket is the Peace Corps equivalent of a chamberpot)


i have the least self control when it comes to american food. but i'm going to try!!


i heard you solved your cockroach problem somehow. what did you do?


hey you guys still alive?


side note: a teacher just raised their hand in the middle of my workshop and told me i look like hannah montana without the wig


also i ate a whole pineapple today


so one of the women teachers brought her kid, which of course peed on the floor, twice, while were saying that a safe school is a sanitary one. awesome


does 38k seem high for an iPod cord?


my mom sent me spf 100! i'm pretty sure over 30 is all the same but i'm still happy.


also kids are throwing rocks at the mango tree next to my house and they're hitting my roof. nevermind that they're going to spilt their heads open.


if you were to label 5-8 parts of the male reproductive system, what would those be?


i haven't bathed since sunday. is it bad? (received on Thursday)


a teacher just told me i should eat jackfruit to make my lady parts taste nice.


i made it back but im so tired... i don't know how i'll survive the meeting! i'm already hungry


you know how i am afraid of people in costumes? i’m pretty sure nuns fall in that category. how am i going to live on a convent?


a man has been going around my village warning people about a ghost with fire in the morning. aka – me running with my torch. (a torch is a flashlight)


one of the teachers at my school said he wished he knew i was going to america because he would have given me money to bring back a used car.


i’m pretty sure I just ate intestines for lunch. i’ve already brushed my teeth three times.


a goat fell down my latrine and my neighbors are trying to rescue it.


i thought Peace Corps would make me less materialistic, but it’s done the opposite.


it’s raining, guess i can’t work today!


well i guess i can join the rat club. my apples are half eaten and my soy crumbles are gone!


oh and my arms still hurt from ‘raving’ with the glow sticks.


why is your skin white? haha how have i lived here a whole year and today is the first time a student thought to ask me this?


things are looking up. i had a decent avocado today! and jackfruit!


i’m eating my last brick of weetabix while watching a really bad copy of valentines day. how depressing.


who knew facebook would be part of your peace corps service?